It’s a corny as anything, but how many new mums when asked about the sex of their baby use the phrase ‘as long as it’s healthy I don’t mind’. Well I was one of them. We chose not to find out the sex, so when my gorgeous baby came along it was a great surprise to find out it was a boy, and a gorgeous 10 fingers and 10 toes picture of healthy scrummieness.
Then comes that day, when someone comes into your life…a complete stranger no less, and takes the healthy bit away, and with it what feels like your whole world. February 22nd (the date is as ingrained in my brain as baby H’s birthday) was when we were told our baby had suspected Cystic Fibrosis.
My husband claims we had no idea anything was wrong, but my mothers instinct was buzzing only a few days prior when H was feeding more and more regularly. We were back down to an hour between feeds, and then this was the odd one…he tasted so salty when I kissed him! So I already new that the optimism of the family around the word ‘suspected’ was in vain thanks to Google, but never the less that first trip to the hospital was one of the hardest days of my life.
I cried at the man attending the car park of the hospital, the poor bloke at the reception desk, the moment we walked onto the children’s ward, and continued this weepy mess all the way through to the sweat test and of course the confirmation of the diagnosis.
I soon came to the conclusion that crying was going to do neither myself or H any good. That’s not to say I haven’t cried since, oh no, I’ve probably done enough to fill a couple of Olympic sized swimming pools!! But what I needed was to find a way to adapt and learn to live with the condition, just as H would also have to do.
And this is the premis of the blog. I’m 5 months in, and all I want to do is share, so if there are any other mums in my predicament I could possibly help. Everyone’s experience of motherhood, CF and life in general is very different, but I hope to be able to offer some tips or advice. But if nothing else just show that new CF mums are not alone.
Mum of a wonderful, handsome and brave salty boy!