Three times this week, once from the CF phycologist, once from my mother in law and oddly, once from James Corden in the wake of the terrible shootings in the US, I’ve had the message ‘think about the positive‘.
For someone who is mildly superstitious-I took this as a sign!
We’d been through a tough time, after baby H grew Pseudomonas again on his third cough swab, and I was told we have to switch to Tobramycin and with it the old style nebuliser.
I was gutted, as I was finding the nebuliser the hardest thing to do with baby H. He didn’t enjoy it (for those of you who aren’t in the habit of trying all there medications like me, colomycin is quite thick and really hard to breath). It was 6 minutes of dread for me, twice a day, 7 days a week.
So hearing that the old style took longer, made a loud noise-I just thought ‘how would we ever get through this?!’
But then a little miracle happened, baby H did the neb after physio and fell asleep! Then he fell asleep the next day and the next.
It was great, we started doing Physio & neb just before his morning nap and then again before his bed time. By the end of the nebuliser, he would fall so fast asleep we could just take him to bed.
And it was at one of my baby groups, listening to mums talking about how they are struggling to get there baby to sleep at night or take naps, and how tiring it sometimes was to get them to bed, I realised..there’s my positive! Rather than spending ages rocking a crying baby to sleep, I was normally done & dusted in 25 minutes.
It might be short lived, and it’s not the most ideal wind down routine- but I’ll take this positive while I can!!
And it’s become such a lovely soothing experience for me and H. Rather than my old physio technique of going in (literally!) all singing and dancing I’ve started to talk and sing softly while doing the percussion, using the 30seconds rest for some gentle stroking and (very adapted) baby massage. My mum made me an awesome ‘Physio pod’ which allows me to ‘wedge’ baby H in safely so we can have some lovely eye contact. Physio, rather than being a chore, is something I can now look forward to, and I really hope baby H does too. So now when we move onto the neb, he’s chilled and relaxed and does it really well.
I know things will change as he grows, and I know I will have to constantly keep finding the positives in challenging situations…but as long as I do, I know this will be my key to getting through.
I loved this quote that James Corden made at the Tony awards…
When something bad happens, you have 3 choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you or let it strengthen you.
And if I draw strength from the challenges of CF, and keep thinking of the positives, I really hope it will teach baby H how to do the same.